If you are not loving yourself, you are not loving God

After my second day in Catanzaro I boarded a train back to Puglia, to Omgarden, my first home in Italia. I was greeted by Marilina and my friend Amellia from Fairfield! It was wonderful being back on the farm and to have the opportunity to share this experience and cultivate a beautiful connection with Amellia was nourishing to my spirit. It was nice to be with someone who relates to me on so many different levels and who understands where I am coming from. I LOVE YOU AMELLIA!!! Thank you for all the laughter and tears...your pure, open spirit is inspiring to me :) Of course it was also nice to be with Marilina again. Each time we are able to connect again it feels like the interaction gains more depth and comfort.

So then I left for Milano to stay with my cousin Natalie, who I had only met once when I was 12 years old! We had talked on the phone a few times and she had been incredibly welcoming so I was eager to spend some time with her and her family. I could really go on and on about her...she is smart, beautiful, funny, real...so real. I was a bit nervous as to how she would receive my intention to go spend time with Amma. But she was soooo open and supportive, dropping me off and picking me up each day from the train station. Spending time with her family has been an incredible gift to me. Her husband Joe is also super cool and plays the best damn Nana from Peter Pan that I have EVER seen! Seriously, this guy is a great actor. They have a son named Anthony who is four and a daughter named Nicole who is two. Being around children is like food for my soul! And they are so beautiful and so brilliant.

I had planned to explore more while I was here, but instead have ended up resting quite a bit. I will come back to Italy so I don't feel like I have to cram every single thing in. I leave for Florence tomorrow and will spent a few days (my birthday is THURSDAY!) and then Friday will head back to Rome to get ready for my departure to India. I leave a week from today! HOLY MACKERAL!

I learn more every day about surrender. I have found that I am becoming more and more accepting of each moment of my life. I just finished "A New Earth" by Eckhart Tolle. I have savored this book, really taken my time with it, and I honestly feel it has been a transformational process. Although I spent the last year studying all the principles he discusses, I have focused on bringing consciousness into the world from the transcendent. Tolle shares how to bring it in from our waking state and makes it so applicable. Through my resonance with the knowledge he shares I have been able to make some positive decisions that have enabled me to avoid "drama" that I would have plunged right into before. I have been able to see myself more wholistically...to see who is operating...Is it my ego, or small self? or is it my true Self, the one that doesn't need to create suffering? What I have learned is, if it feels like I am being threatened, or disrespected, or hurt...when I am looking at someone elses actions as somehow personal to me...or anything that has to do with money or possessions...it is my ego that is screaming to be heard...the unconscious part of me that has lost sight of what really matters.

For me what matters is Love...God, Unity, Pure Consciousness...there are many names though none can really express the wholeness of it. Being able to discern and choose this aspect has enabled me to have a more honest love for the people in my life and a deeper sense of compassion. I realize that this, then, is a reflection of the love I have for my Self. The title of this post came from my summation paper at MUM. I can remember writing it and having a bit of an ah ha moment. I remember thinking, of course I love God...and as a creation of that source I am inseparable from it...

WOW! As I have written countless times in the book I just finished...SO BEAUTIFUL!!!